by Deb Coman | Uncategorized
Why do we write?
In the most simple of terms, it’s a way to convey the thoughts in our head so that another person (or hopefully, many people) know what we mean. Sounds simple and yet, we often have to put a lot of thought into how we want to phrase what we think.
“Why do we write?” can be answered in general terms with broad strokes:
- because it’s how I express myself;
- because I want to make a difference;
- because I can’t keep it all inside.
It also NEEDS to be answered each time we sit down to write a specific piece for a specific audience or purpose.
We must take the time to ask ourselves “Why?”
When writing, “Why?” is Always Step 1. (Tweet this!)
By answering this, we hope to simultaneously answer why our readers will bother to read it.
That’s important, isn’t it? Otherwise, we’d just write in our journal and call it a day.
But those of us who write to reach others owe it to our readers to pursue the answer to “Why?”
Mindful writing is better writing. (Tweet This)
Many of us write because:
- It’s habit;
- A blog post is due;
- It’s ___________ (fill in the blank with: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday…)
- I need to teach a concept
- I hope to inspire others
- I want to sell a __________ (fill in this one with: book, product, course…)
By answering the specific why for this specific writing piece, and even writing it down to refer to as we go along, it gives our process a purpose and a direction. If we refer back to the why as we spew out the words, we can catch ourselves, reel it in, and shift the focus when we notice we are wandering off course.
Take me, for example. Tonight I’m writing because:
- a blog post IS due;
- I want to help others to be better writers;
- I’m working on breaking down the process I use with my clients and the “Why?” is always step 1. (Tweet it!)
So, tell me about your “WHYs.” I’d love to hear if they are a part of your writing practice.
by Deb Coman | Uncategorized
Bestselling Publisher Linda Joy has inspired me to become a Sacred Sponsor of the Choosing Happiness Crusade and Video Series.
This inspirational series features 30 intimate soul-inspiring video conversations created to inspire YOU to believe that despite the messiness of life – happiness is within reach. Unlike other “interview” style events, Linda makes you feel like you’re sitting at the kitchen table with your dearest friends getting real, raw and vulnerable!
You can reserve your seat today to get access to 30 happiness videos and 42 inspiring gifts. Get started here: www.ChoosingHappinessCrusade.com.
Happiness can mean work. Yes, happiness doesn’t always just land on our doorstep or wait for us on the carpet beneath our feet as we tumble out of bed each new day. Sometimes we have to go looking for it. Or, even harder, we have to create it.
Sounds daunting and, yet, it’s empowering. Create our own happiness? So, if it’s not just there waiting for us to absorb it, we can make it happen? Yes! Every day. Every moment. Regardless of what’s going on.
Now, this isn’t to say that in the face of tragedy or depression or other challenges, we can just paint on a happy face and all will be well. It does mean, however, that we always retain our power to choose.
In times of darkness, we may choose to feel the depths of sadness and I think that is a good choice. We need to feel our feelings to work through them. In fact, there’s almost nothing worse than painting on a happy face and pretending we are unaffected by tragedy. I don’t mean to be judgmental. We all do what we need to do to put one foot in front of the other and many of us have not experienced feeling, acknowledging, and, God forbid – talking about our feelings.
However, feelings are funny things. Like bad pennies, they keep showing up.
We can cover them, hide them, make them into something else but the original, raw feeling is deep down in there somewhere, waiting to resurface, perhaps when we least expect it.
So, I aim to choose to feel my feelings. I’m not awesome at it all the time but it’s a goal. In doing this, I don’t always choose happiness, but that’s a goal, too. In fact, it’s kind of an end goal. To get there, I may have to choose sadness, anger, shame, and guilt for a time, to get them out of my way on my path to happiness. In my experience, it’s the only way to get there. (Read more about these other feelings on our path to happiness here.)
When that bad penny shows up, instead of shoving it in a pocket or trying to ignore it, try bringing it out into the light in all its rawness, experiencing it and then cleaning it up so that its brightness can return?
Turn your bad pennies into shiny ones as all these amazing women did in these 30 happiness videos and 42 inspiring gifts. Get started here: www.ChoosingHappinessCrusade.com. And it won’t even cost you a penny!
by Deb Coman | Uncategorized
Happiness is always a choice. We always have the power to choose it.
Today, my friend and best-selling publisher Linda Joy officially releases her new bookInspiration for a Woman’s Soul: Choosing Happiness.
In it are inspiring stories from 27 amazing women (many of whom I know, personally). It also includes thought-provoking reflection questions and prompts. In celebration of its release, for a limited time, purchase of the book comes with over 40 transformational gifts. Grab the book here today: http://bit.ly/Happiness_Book
The anticipation of the book release got me mulling over the idea, or I should say “the ideal” of happiness.
“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”
~ Abraham Lincoln.
Dear old Abe: Is this a challenge? Admonition? Invitation?
I choose “invitation.” And I choose “happiness.”
Now, I’m not saying I choose it all the time and every day but I do find strength in knowing that I have that choice at any moment. Now, certainly events, experiences, even predispositions can make this more difficult at some times more than others. However, I have a role in this performance called my life and it’s not just a supporting actress role.
I, as all of us, have experienced great sadness and I’m not suggesting we should just pull ourselves up by the bootstraps in those instances. I must say though, that even at its worst (and who can say whose worst is worse?) I know in the recesses of my mind that there is a tiny, almost infinitesimal glimmer that hope and happiness will come again – just not right now. And so I choose to feel my feelings and go to the depths of sadness, like racing toward a cold, ever-dimming bottom of the sea with an occasional glance up at the water’s surface where I know the sun is still shining, even as it becomes harder to see.
In order to choose happiness, we must also choose sadness and all the other feelings in between. Or perhaps they are choosing us and we allow them to run their course. They each serve a purpose, whether to protect, inspire or simply remind us that we feel and, therefore, we “are.” And so it is, then, that:
- I choose anger to give me the strength to protect myself when my boundaries are breeched.
- I choose guilt to grow my empathy for those I have wronged.
- I choose shame to learn healthy coping mechanisms so that I don’t stay there long or return.
- I choose sadness so that when it is felt all the way through and begins to fade,
- I can, once again, choose happiness.
How about you? Do you dabble in the palette of feelings so that, in the end, you, too, can choose happiness? Please share with a comment here.
And, before you go, choose happiness by ordering publisher Linda Joy’s Inspiration for a Woman’s Soul: Choosing Happiness today http://bit.ly/Happiness_Book and get bonus gifts from over 40 visionary women (for a limited time only.)
by Deb Coman | Uncategorized
Hmm. Over the years there have been a few potential (“potential” being the operative word) clients who said that their clients didn’t care about correct grammar or cleaned up copy; that they loved them and did business with them in spite of the occasional typo or misspelled word in their business writing. I’m sure that is true. To some extent. I often wonder if they realize that for every client they have, there may be one or two who clicked to the next site on their Google search or in that business directory. Perhaps those typos and grammatical errors gave them pause enough to not linger long enough to even explore the “services” page. Then what?
Maybe it doesn’t matter. But, maybe it does. In these times of point and click and your options expand exponentially, why wouldn’t you want to edge out the next option with more polished, professional writing?
Some of the reasons include that it’s faster, easier, and more cost-effective to do it myself. I completely get that (said the person who did their own website, newsletter, opt-in, etc. and spent hours upon hours learning). It is often the only way when your business is starting out. However (and this is a big HOWEVER), good, clean, professional, engaging copy brings more business. What you pay to get it should pale in comparison to what it helps you bring in.
No one expects perfection. We all have the occassional typo slip in (did you see what I did there?) and that can be ok. Really. It’s when it is more than occasional (did you see what I did THERE?) that it can impact your business and your proverbial “bottom line.”
If you’re just starting out, it’s understandable. If your business is not so much about written communication, it’s understandable. If your business is marketing or web site development, or supporting people to run their own business, it really does (and should!) matter. You are passing along bad habits like a rotten egg that will stink up their work. Don’t give your clients a rotten egg. Give them werds they can feel good about. If you need my help, I would love the opportunety. (Just seeing if you’re paying attention!)
I’d love to know your take on this and if you’ve invested in good copy, what kind of impact it’s made in your business. Please leave us your thoughts in the comments.
by Deb Coman | Uncategorized
In my house we are back to school, (almost) de-Christmased, and, like it or not, back into our normal routines. As if life with three young boys/men ever involves a normal routine!
I hope you are finding your joy whatever way that comes. Mine involves looking forward always and a teeny bit back just to:
- remind me of where I’ve been
- and help me to learn from it!
So, I’m choosing to approach each new day, just as that: “a brand new day.” Simple, right? Not day 13 of my 365 days to a better me but just a new day filled with many choices that come in the way of moments. In any one of those moments I can choose to:
- straighten the kitchen counter
- clear out and donate clothes that no longer work
- eat a piece of fruit instead of that leftover piece of cake
- stop doing and just “be”
Or just eat the cake, since there will soon be another moment!
You see, it doesn’t always matter once that moment has passed. Sometimes we just need to stay in that moment: live it, enjoy it, leave it in the rear view mirror and move on.
One thing I have been doing for some time now, is looking for signs from the Universe. They often come when I am not noticing. At a recent event with raffled prizes, I just finished telling friends that I didn’t really “need” a beautiful pottery vase when the Universe thought otherwise and my friends clamored that my name was being called. Driving home with that vase, I felt kind of bad, like I didn’t deserve it because I was saying I didn’t really need it. Once home, as I pulled it all the way out of the box it was in, I realized how beautiful it really was and then it dawned on me that the color and design were almost exactly like the business cards my friend created for me (without my input).
When I get out of the way, the Universe often steps in. How about you?
If as you look ahead, there are writing and creative projects in your future and you would like my help, shoot me an email at deb@debcoman.com and you, me and the Universe will figure it out. If we’re not already connected on every social media platform known to humankind, please click on one or more of the links in the header and see what’s happening there!
by Deb Coman | Uncategorized
Here we are, plunked down in 2015 – with a brand spanking new year stretching out before us. Yikes!
I don’t know about you, but the idea of moving into this blank slate is both thrilling and intimidating. A few days into all the new “plans” entitled “365 ways to _______ (you can fill it in with ‘declutter, organize, eat better, exercise more, meditate, be a better human’…)” and I think I’ve lost track of some of them already. Sometimes I think there should be a new program mid-January entitled “Don’t Worry, You Don’t Suck Just Because You Didn’t _______!” (again, you choose the quality/behavior).
Truth be told, January 1st is really just another day. The new year doesn’t necessarily mean we have to get overzealous about correcting every little thing we wish we did better and join programs to do that. If that works for you, that’s great and I applaud you. If it doesn’t work, please consider that every day, and actually every moment, is an opportunity to be a better _______.
It’s easy to beat ourselves up and think “Well, I blew it. Maybe NEXT year I’ll do that thing!” What’s even easier, and much more kind, is to think, “I’m doing the best I can” and if today didn’t go great, “I can begin (again) at any moment that I choose.” Life, for sure, is a journey and not a destination. So, begin. And if it’s a false start, begin again. Go ahead and be a better _________.
If being a better writer or doing a better job of communicating your message is on your list, please let me know if I can help. How we might do that is here.
Enjoy this new day and, if this one isn’t great, don’t worry…another one is on the way!
by Deb Coman | Uncategorized
My friend is gone. Well, he’ll never really be gone but he left this earth yesterday. I’m not going to talk about him, specifically, because that just doesn’t feel right but what I do want to talk about is his essence and the difference that made in my life. And the reminder, in his death, that life sometimes sucks.
The photo here is one I took of a rock I found on the shores of Lake Ontario. It’s not a great photo, but that’s ok. It reminds me that things don’t have to be perfect. Sometimes things just are ok. That keeps us humble, right?
My friend was probably the most humble person I’ll ever know. He didn’t ask for much, or for anything, really. He was the epitome of “unassuming.” Not all of us can do that.
He didn’t have to be first at anything. This made him great on any scale. He truly put the needs of others before his, all the time. He was selfless.
He was a reflective, active listener. He listened much more than he spoke. He looked into your eyes as you talked. He shrugged and nodded in agreement and support.
He always, and I do mean always, had something positive to share.
He loved music, humor and connecting with others.
So, here are my 5 Tips to Improve Your Life and they really come from him and only through me:
- Give.
- Cheer.
- Listen.
- Laugh.
- Connect.
And I’m going to add a P.S.
P.S. Make sure your friends and family know how you feel about them. I know that he did and for that I am truly grateful in this heartbreak.
by Deb Coman | Uncategorized
Each time I go to a networking event or any kind of in-person business meeting, it leads me to some kind of advancement in my business. Often, this happens before I even leave home. If you haven’t experienced this, plan to go to an event and consider creating or updating some, if not all, of these business-advancing items:
- Business cards. If you don’t have one, you need one! I started with a simple one I created on my computer and printed on card stock at home. Then, I used a template from an online business card printing company and, more recently, I had a unique one created by a graphic design person. Can’t tell you how good it feels to bring a business card you’re proud of to your next event.
- Website. Sure, you can spend a lot of time and money creating the perfect copy, design, and layout of your website, or you can go without one over the long haul it sometimes takes for the stars to align for this to happen, or you can take a cue from Nike and JUST DO IT. There are many no, or low-cost, options to create your own website. It may not be perfect (mine certainly wasn’t) but it can be tweaked and revised over time. My current site is very different than the one that existed only a short time ago. It’s just important to have one. You need to have a place for people to go to check out your business. It’s really that simple. Without a site, potential customers will likely go with someone who has one (even if theirs isn’t perfect!) Choose your website name AND PURCHASE THAT DOMAIN NAME so that no one else uses it.
- Opt-in. Once you’ve got a site, you need to have a way to capture visitors to your site who are interested in staying connected to your online communication. This means having an Opt-in mailing list where people can sign up to receive newsletters and other communication and news from you. Again, there are no, or low-cost, programs to do this. You can use tutorials on these sites to configure an opt-in mailing list system for your website or hire someone to do this for you. You can’t stay in contact with potential clients without email contact information and you must have their permission to do this.
- Free gift. When people give you their email address and allow you into their inbox, it’s a perfect opportunity to give them a gift in return for this privilege. There’s no better way to do this than to have a document, audio, or video of valuable content (your free gift) so people can get to know you and the quality of your work. It’s a great way to showcase your talent and expertise and allow them to begin to see what you will bring to them if they choose to work with you. When someone opts-in with their email, they should receive this gift automatically.
- Newsletter Sign-Up Sheet. While so much of what you do may happen online, when you attend networking events and workshops, it’s helpful to have a hard copy of a document where people can physically sign up for your newsletter and free gift. Many networking events provide a space for small displays that may include your business cards, any samples of your work and this sign-up sheet. Create and print something simple that captures their name and email address and then input these into your subscriber list as soon after your event as possible.
Make time today in your business to create, review, or revise these so that you can be ready for your next event. You’ll be so glad that you did! Let me know your thoughts and ideas in the comments below about how these and other systems help you to advance your business.
by Deb Coman | Uncategorized
Self-care. We all know what it means. We’ve all done a lot of it over the years. In fact, we’ve probably practiced dozens upon dozens of ways to take care of ourselves, manage stress, and live healthier lives. How many became habits?
I heard someone speak yesterday who talked about the 21 days it takes to establish a new habit. One of the things that struck me is when she said, “Commitment is easy. Consistency is hard.” Consistency is hard. (And she said it twice for emphasis, too!) She is so very right. We can all get motivated to do something good and healthy for ourselves that will translate into something good and healthy for our business, too. That commitment can be summoned up with ease and carry us through those first few days. It’s the 21 days that stretches our commitment to the thin line that often snaps and the 21 day clock starts anew.
This wonderful motivational speaker, Deb Cabral of The DeClutter Coach also stated that“having that goal in writing AND LOOKING AT IT EVERY DAY” is the way to maintain that motivation to the 21 day finish line and establishment of a new habit.
Here are a few self-care strategies you can choose, write down, look at every day, and practice to give yourself a fighting chance on the 21 day road to establishing at least one newhealthy self-care habit:
- Meditate daily, and, preferably in the morning. Even if only for 5 minutes, this can do wonders to start your day off on the right foot: centered, calm, and focused. I’ve been doing this and am well on my way to the 21 days. It’s been amazing how even 5 minutes has a lasting effect throughout my day. In fact, it becomes easy to remind myself to focus on my breathing or to close my eyes for a “mini-meditation” of even just 30 seconds or a minute when my day and stress level rev up.
- Get more rest. I must admit, I am terrible at this one. I’m a bit of a night owl and love the quiet of my otherwise busy house after everyone else goes to sleep. It can be very productive business time. However, it’s very easy to get lost in a project as the time ticks away and suddenly I’m facing a sleep deficit before I even get to tomorrow. For me, this one really requires effort to choose a reasonable time for bed and to make that happen. It makes everything flow more easily the next day, including productivity.
- Drink water. I do like water and know how important it is to remain hydrated. It can be easier said than done. Use whatever techniques work for you. Keep a water bottle with you at all times. Fill a large pitcher at the start of the day and work at it until it’s empty. Follow a cup of coffee or tea with a full glass of water. Choose it at mealtime, whether at home or a restaurant. A slice of lemon goes a long way to making it more refreshing.
- Eat more fruits and veggies. We all know this one, too, and can incorporate it into our shopping plans. Yet, how many pounds of greens gone bad do we toss each week from the bottom drawers of our fridges? It takes some planning and presence of mind to have a little with each meal. I sometimes need to catch myself from thinking “Oh, I’ll save those for tomorrow’s meal.” If by “tomorrow’s meal” I mean trash day’s fridge clean out, I am not doing my body or my wallet much good. Eat them as soon after buying them as possible. Make it a habit to buy (and eat!) more regularly.
- Connect. What could be more easy? And, yet, it’s another “put ‘er ‘offer.” Sit down today, right now and write a letter, even a quick note to someone you care about. Write that thank you. Zip off that birthday card. Make a phone call to someone that matters in your life. Time really is precious and it makes no promises to wait for us. Connection fills us up, more than numbers 1 through 4 above. It’s easy. It matters. Remind someone important that they matter, too. You’ll be giving yourself a wonderful gift. And your business will thank you, too. For in filling ourselves up, we have more to give to, not only our friends and family, but to the important connections we make in business.
Pick at least one self-care tip to start, or come up with your own. Write it down. Look at it every day. Practice it. Today is Day 1. Let me know what happens on your way to Day 21. Comment below or email me at deb@debcoman.com. I’d love to hear from you!
by Deb Coman | Uncategorized
Can you hear it? It’s the Universe. Yeah, that’s right. The Universe. Are you a believer? Do you feel that sometimes wonderful things happen that you can’t seem to explain? Do you ever just “know” that something will work out when it seems like the odds are stacked against you?
What you hear is your intuition. That internal guide that lets you know what’s real in the midst of lots of fake, phony and just not worth the time and effort people and events. It’s that part of you that makes you know something you can’t quite put your finger on, but you knowit. Sometimes people say they can feel it “in their bones.”
It’s so easy to dismiss intuition or to be moving too fast with our bodies and minds to even hear our intuition phone ringing incessantly. Intuition and believing in the Universe fly in the face of conventional ways of the world. It can be hard work to allow ourselves to trust in them. And yet, ironically, the more we trust, the more wonderful things manifest in our lives.
I think I have always trusted my intuition but to different degrees. I’m kind of also a fact-based kind of person. Weird, I know, to be both fact-based and intuitive but it’s really quite a lovely pair! Perhaps it’s that our intuition is often based in fact and experience but our mind allows us to skip over all the steps of thought, remembering, reasoning, and processing and get right to the “knowing.” It’s a beautiful thing if we just let it be and don’t feel compelled to overanalyze it!
So, in recent years, I have made a conscious effort to be more open to my intuition – to pick up the intuition phone when it rings – and to listen! Sometimes I believe in the Universe working its magic but I want to tell it how to do it and that’s just not how it works. We need to be open, to let go, not hang on, and to imagine the life we want as if it is already here. After all, it is what we make it. So, who’s on the other end of your intuition phone call? And, more importantly, are you listening?
